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193+ Best Merry Christmas Quotes ( 2021 )

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31 funniest Christmas Quotes


1. Christmas is a baby shower that went totally overboard.”
– Andy Borowitz

2.“Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year.”
– Victor Borge

3.“My husband’s idea of getting the Christmas spirit is to become Scrooge.”
– Melanie White

4.“Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice.”
– Dave Barry

5.“What I like about Christmas is that you can make people forget the past with the present.”
– Don Marquis

6.“I hate the radio this time of year because they play “All I Want For Christmas Is You” like, every other song. And that’s just not enough.”
– Bridger Winegar

7.“A lovely thing about Christmas is that it’s compulsory, like a thunderstorm, and we all go through it together.”
– Garrison Keillor

8.“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin.”
– Winston Spear

9.“Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.”
– Kin Hubbard

10.“Do give books – religious or otherwise – for Christmas. They’re never fattening, seldom sinful, and permanently personal.”
– Lenore Hershey

11.“Keep your friends close, your enemies closer, and receipts for all major purchases.”
– Bridger Winegar

12.“For Christmas this year, try giving less. Start with less attitude. There’s more than enough of that in the world as it is – and people will usually just give it back anyway!”
– Anne Bristow

13.“Who’s the bane of Santa’s life? The elf and safety officer.”
– Catherine Tate

14.“Santa Claus wears a Red Suit, he must be a communist. And a beard and long hair must be a pacifist. What’s in that pipe that he’s smoking?”
– Arlo Guthrie

J.K. Rowling
15.”One can never have enough socks. Another Christmas has come and gone and I didn’t get a single pair. People will insist on giving me books.”

Melanie White
16.”Sending Christmas cards is a good way to let your friends and family know that you think they’re worth the price of a stamp.”

17. At Christmas, play and make good cheer, For Christmas comes but once a year.” – Thomas Tusser

18. Three phrases that sum up Christmas are: Peace on Earth, Goodwill to Men, and Batteries not Included.” – Author Unknown

19.“Christmas shopping. Never an easy or pleasant task.” -Harry in Love Actually

20.“Mentally I am ready for Christmas, financially I am not ready for Christmas.”

21. Nothing says holiday like a cheese log.” – Ellen DeGeneres

22.“Christmas is a box of tree ornaments that have become part of the family.”— Charles M. Schulz

23.“It’s easier to feel a little more spiritual with a couple of bucks in your pocket.” — Craig Ferguson

24.”The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.” — George Carlin

25.“I haven’t taken my Christmas lights down. They look so nice on the pumpkin. — Winston Spear

26.“Mail your packages early so the post office can lose them in time for Christmas.” — Johnny Carson

27.“What I don’t like about office Christmas parties is looking for a job the next day.” — Phyllis Diller

28. “I stopped believing in Santa Claus when I was six. Mother took me to see him in a department store and he asked for my autograph.” – Shirley Temple

29.”The worst gift is a fruitcake. There is only one fruitcake in the entire world, and people keep sending it to each other.” – Johnny Carson

30.”Never worry about the size of your Christmas tree. In the eyes of children, they are all 30 feet tall.” – Larry Wilde

31. Dear Santa, This year, please give me a fat bank account and a slim body. And please don’t mix those two up like you did last year. Thanks.

Pushkar Agarwal
I am greatly interested in festivals all around the world because it helps me discover new thoughts, beliefs, and practices of different people celebrating various types of sacred rituals each having its own joy and happiness. I hope you will enjoy my blog.