“Sisters, we’ve been gone 300 years.” —Winifred Sanderson
“I am beautiful! Boys will love me!” —Sarah Sanderson
“It reeks of children!” —Mary Sanderson
“Well, fancy! We desire children.” —Winifred Sanderson
“I’ll always take care of you, and my children will take care of you too, and their children after that, and their children after that. Forever and ever.” —Dani
“Welcome to High School Hell.” —Max
“They’re very health-conscious in Los Angeles.” —Ernie “Ice”
“Therefore, it stands to reason, does it not, sisters dear? That we must find the book, brew the potion, and suck the lives out of the children of Salem before sunrise. Otherwise, it’s curtains. We evaporate! We cease to exist! Dost thou comprehend?” —Winifred Sanderson
“He’s a good zombie.” —Max
“Why? Why was I cursed with such idiot sisters?” —Winifred Sanderson
“Fine, but everyone here knows that Halloween was invented by the candy companies. It’s a conspiracy.” —Max
“You hags! There are not enough children in the world to make thee young and beautiful!” —Thackery Binx
“Drop dead, moron.” —Dani
“Come! We fly!” —Winifred Sanderson
“Farewell, mortal bus boy!” —Sarah Sanderson
“Sisters, Satan has married Medusa. See the snakes in her hair.” —Mary Sanderson
“Thackery Binx, thou mangy feline. Still alive?” —Winifred Sanderson
“Stuff it, zit face.” —Dani
“Dance, dance, dance, until you die!” —Winifred Sanderson
“I shall always be with you.” —Thackery Binx
“I love you, jerk face.” —Dani
“You want to smash some pumpkins?” —Jay
“Please don’t be sad for me.” —Thackery Binx
“Well, I don’t know. Cat’s got my tongue.” —Winifred Sanderson
“I shall always be with you.” —Thackery Binx
“Maybe you could learn to breathe through your nose.” —Max
“You hags! There are not enough children in the world to make thee young and beautiful!” —Thackery Binx
“Well, it says to to form a circle of salt to protect from zombies, witches, and old boyfriends.” —Allison
“Fine, but everyone here knows that Halloween was invented by the candy companies. It’s a conspiracy.” —Max
“Shove it, Satan!” —Master’s Wife
“It is a prison for children.” —Winifred Sanderson
“Go to hell!” “Oh I’ve been there, thank you—I found it quite lovely.” —Winifred Sanderson
“‘Tis firm!” —Sarah Sanderson
“Maybe you can learn to breathe through your nose.” —Max
“Well, I don’t know. Cat’s got my tongue!” —Winifred Sanderson
“Got any cash, Hollywood?” —Jay
“Goodbye, cruel world.” —Winifred Sanderson
“Amok, amok, amok, amok, amok!” —Sarah Sanderson
“I call it a bus.” —Bus Driver
“Come little children/I’ll take thee away/Into a land of enchantment/Come little children, the times come to play/Here in my garden of magic.” —Sarah Sanderson
“Come, we fly!” —Winifred Sanderson
“Aren’t you broads a little bit old to be trick or treating?” —Master’s Wife
“We’ll be younger in the morning.” —Winifred Sanderson
“Don’t get your knickers in a twist! We’re just three kindly old spinster ladies.” —Winifred Sanderson
“It’s the chocolate-covered finger of a man named Clark!” —Mary Sanderson
“I killed you once. I shall kill you again, you maggoty malfeasance! Hang onto your heads!” —Winifred Sanderson
“I had to wait 300 years for a virgin to light a candle.” —Thackery Binx
“It’s a full moon tonight. That’s why all the weirdos are out.” —Dani
“Oh, look! Another glorious morning. Makes me sick!” —Winifred Sanderson
“I put a spell on you and now you’re mine.” —Winifred Sanderson
“I suggest we form a calming circle.” —Mary Sanderson
“Damn, damn, double damn!” —Winifred Sanderson
“Come little children, I’ll take thee away …” —Sarah Sanderson
“We’re young!” —Mary Sanderson
Loving these quotes? Then you’ll love these other funny movie quotes!
“I’ll have your guts for garters, girl!” —Winifred Sanderson
“You’re going to turn me into one of those fat, useless, contented house cats.” —Thackery Binx
“Goodbye cruel world.” —Winifred Sanderson
“You lit the Black Flamed Candle?” —Cop
“Why was I cursed with such idiot sisters?” —Winifred Sanderson
“It doesn’t matter how young or old you are, you sold your soul! You’re the ugliest thing that ever lived, and you know it!” —Dani
“You know, I’ve always wanted a child. Now I think I’ll have one… on toast!” —Winifred Sanderson
“Mmm, mmm, mmm! I need one of those instant ice packs. You girls are giving me a fever!” —Bus Driver
“This is terribly uncomfortable.” —Sarah Sanderson
“Take good care of Dani, Max. You’ll never know how precious she is until you lose her.” —Thackery Binx
“Wench! Trollop! You bucktoothed, mop-riding firefly from hell!” —Billy Butcherson